I had these friends who all rented a house together after we graduated from college. I think, technically, six of them lived there, but the house was just a hive of activity with significant others, friends, friends of friends, and people that…well, no one was quite sure how or why they got there. But they had this innovation – a house rule. You know how sometimes you say something and the instant, I mean the instant those words leave your mouth you think, “no, no, no …I should not have said that.” Well, when that happened at their house, you could just go FWIP – like you’re sucking those words back into your mouth with a straw. “Who did your hair this morning?” FWIP. “Are you putting on a few pounds there?” FWIP. “Hey, train wreck, this isn’t your station!” FWIP. Whatever it was that you said, if you felt instant remorse – if, in your own mind, you understood exactly how hurtful what you said was and wanted to take it back, the other person allowed you to do just that. With one simple, FWIP, they all agreed that it was like your careless statement never happened.
With close friends, sometimes we’re able to give each other a break – to make nice and keep the peace. But we all know that when our relationships fracture and start to fall apart, a simple FWIP just isn’t going to cut it.