Around 1858, two families moved to a small town in California. When the Civil War started, the Frost family fought for the Confederates and the Coates family fought for the Union. From the time they met, they had had an uneasy relationship, to say the least. The conflict of the parents was echoed by their children. The schoolboys got into a fistfight; the teacher punished both. Their parents complained (surely one of the boys was at fault!). One parent eventually agreed with the teacher and the other didn’t. One parent vowed to get the teacher fired and make sure that everyone on the school board lost their positions. The other vowed to protect the teacher and get the school board re-elected.
Anger, outbursts, taunting, and violence increased. A few years later came another election day. Many in the community were gathered around, including the Frosts and the Coates. A member from one family picked a fight with a member of the other and then the families joined in. Fifteen seconds passed and six people lost their lives. After the violence ended, many from both families mourned their dead together and made peace with one another.
The larger feud was over, but Elijah Frost, who had lost his father, became a horse thief. He ended up in prison. When he got out, he joined a violent gang and… let’s just say that it didn’t end well for him. The Frosts kept getting swept up in heavy drinking and threats and violence with one another. Many lost their lives. This continued until 1885 – twenty years after all this had begun. So often, when we think of the Civil War, we call it a war of “brother against brother.” Passionately held convictions tore families and communities apart as they marched into battle. The scars of that schism didn’t disappear overnight. Children learn what is right and wrong from their parents; who to distrust, who to hate, when to fight. Maybe that’s what happened to the Frosts. They learned to fight, but they didn’t learn how to stop. It was said that, though the fight between the families had finished, “the curse of the blood-feud” hung over the Frosts.1
[1] Sources
- https://www.yosemite.ca.us/library/california_rangers/family_feud.html
- http://www.decidedlygrim.net/?p=7116
- https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-san-francisco-examiner-frost-feud-re/40163807/
- https://acestoohigh.com/2016/09/08/7-ways-childhood-adversity-changes-a-childs-brain/